Ever set a boundary with your child — “Use a quiet voice so your brother can sleep?” or “Screens go off in 5 minutes.” — only to have your child do precisely what you’ve asked them not to do?
372 times a day this happens, right? 🙂
Well in the video below I talk about several aspects of boundaries, including the mainstream approach to “enforcing” them with our children. In addition, I share an approach to boundaries for conscious parents, and a specific challenge for mindful parents. After you watch the video, you might check out my boundary tips that follow.
- Be mindful about the boundaries you set. Set only those that are truly necessary.
- Treat boundary “violations” as impersonal acts rather than deliberate choices your child is making to ignore, disrespect, or annoy you.
- Consider what might be making it difficult for your child to honor a boundary you’ve set.
- Attempt not to set boundaries that you sense will be hard for others to honor or for you to maintain (e.g., thinking a young, enthusiastic child will be able to not touch items in a toy store is almost asking for that boundary to be crossed).
- A dysregulated child will have a very difficult time honoring boundaries, so help them succeed by doing what you can to keep them in a regulated state (i.e., a “human brain” state, a “yes” brain, green zone state).