While it can take years of repeated attempts to unhook ourselves from our “good girl” drama, we can free up that real human female inside. There are costs to pay for our liberation. We may even feel pain and sadness at times of this reclamation. Nonetheless, the payoff is worth the effort. Some of what we women rediscover when we let go of our need to be the “good girl” includes:
- We become comfortable in our own skin (as when we were first born into the world). We accept our full range of humanity – the “good” and “bad” or “light” and “shadow” – and know that all aspects of who we are have value. We love ourselves no matter what.
- We feel less need to judge others. When we’re less concerned about what others think of us, we generally find that we’re less preoccupied with evaluating others as either “less than” or “more than” ourselves.
- We have access to the full range of our emotions and qualities. Many of the formerly shunned aspects of ourselves are now available to us as tools to use. For instance, if someone is repeatedly belittling with us, we can be assertive and bold in saying that if they continue to treat us in this way we will no longer have a relationship with them (as opposed to putting up with it so we don’t “make them angry” by being so “sensitive.”)
- We get to have more lightness and fun in our lives. Without so many expectations weighing us down, we have more energy and likely more enthusiasm for life. Also, since we’re no longer afraid of standing up for ourselves, we’re likely to have fewer dramas and tolerations in our lives.
- We’re highly likely to start attracting more great results that really matter to us. As we rediscover our needs and wants and reclaim our power and voice, those far off dreams start getting prioritized and getting the energy they require to come true.
- We get healthier and more resilient because we’re not overdoing it like we did when we were trying to be “perfect,” and we’re less prone to breakdown from too much stress. By reconnecting with the full breadth of our humanity, we have more resources to cope with life’s ups and downs.
- We’re easier to be around. In “good girl” mode we’re so tough on ourselves that it’s natural that we’re tough on others (either overtly or covertly). These demands of others become real or energetic barriers to developing or maintaining mutually supportive relationships. Once we’re real again, we often are authentically more attractive (spiritually, emotionally, and even physically).